Monday, June 7, 2010

Where is my happy husband?

Well I finally decided not to attend the memorial service for my Father-in-law. I doubt that I was missed. Andrew went with John and I am very grateful that he did that. John has been an emotional wreck since his Dad died. He has written reams of stuff in his journal and he has talked to all his siblings at length. He was very upset when one sister decided hymns were needed at the service but everyone knew he didn't want anything to do with the church. John finally received sort of an answer to his prayers in that he felt that he needed to do his Dad's temple work and he had to make that abundantly clear to all his sisters that he was doing it no one else. His sisters usually conveniently forget that John is the Patriarch of their family unit. Since the service John has finally realized why his sisters were all broken up about his Dad dying. They had done things with him, he had taken them places, he had applauded their efforts, he had been a Dad to them. they now realize that he was not that to John. John has no memories of trips or museums, or projects or his Dad building anything for him, like he did for the others. It's been an enlightening time for all of them. But when all is said and done John is still hurting. He is distracted, grumpy, stressed and down on himself. He did talk awhile with our son-in-law last night and that seemed to help. I don't know what to do. I want to give him a swift kick in the back side and tell him to get on with his life but I doubt that would produce the results I would hope for. I would just like a little joy in his journey, an optimistic outlook on life. I have been praying for those things but it hasn't happened yet. I would like my happy husband back.


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